Sapporo at last!

I spent the last two nights in Tokyo at the Kaosan Ninja hostel. The first night I was eager to get out and make friends, so I made friends with a big group of gaijin that I met randomly, and we went out on the town. It wasn't so much the place as the people that I enjoyed, and by the end of the night we had enough inside jokes and memories to keep my lonliness at bay for days to come. A big group of Aussies, a Manchester guy, a couple of South Africans on a world karate tournament. We went from place to place, and pretty soon we were at the end of the subway line and the subway closed down. Since taxi prices are like train robbery, we had to stay out until the morning trains started running at 5am. It started to get cold, so we checked into a kareoke bar and tried to navigate the complicated remotes for a while. My voice was pretty weak at this hour but I managed to belt out a few songs. Of course, hey jude and barbie girl, just because these songs reminded me of taiwan and I know all the words. So we caught the train back, and everyone went back to their hostel, which, unfortunately, was not the same as my hostel. I knew they were tired, so I said goodnight and that I knew how to get home and that I would see them tomorrow. But the truth was, I was lost even when I first met them on my way home from dinner.

I had a vague idea which direction I should head in. It was a little past 5, and my inner navigation system was shot. I took out the brochure and started following the map and my shaky intuition, asking directions at every opportunity. The map didn't match my intuition at all, but I had to trust the map. I finally reached the spot it pointed to and then...I realized I was following an ad for my hostel's SISTER hostel, Kaosan Original. Not my Ninja hostel. oh. It was a cold and dark epiphany. People were going to work in their fancy suits and leather boots, and I was so scrubby and so tired that my body was unable to regulate its temperature properly. I was afraid of getting lost when I initially left the hostel, so I had photographed landmarks. Then the landmarks only haunted me because I kept thinking I saw them, and then I would check the photo and they would be slightly different. I kept taking subways, and getting directions, but I wasn't thinking clearly anymore. I had gotten very little sleep the night before because my family had taken me to an all-you-can-eat buffet that was DELICIOUS, and I had three or four coffees so I could pack. Anyways, so I took the subway about 3 times, getting off at stations that I knew were close but I still couldn't find it. It was 8am when I finally hit the sheets. I was SO greatful for those sweet-smellin' sheets, and then I was out like a light. I knew I was supposed to check out and meet up with my new friends for lunch, but...

I was so sleepy that I paid for an extra night, just so I could sleep in. Then I promptly missed my train. Not because I didn't go to the station, but because I didn't read the 24-hour-clock properly. My ticket said 17.00 and I only saw the 7, so even though I meant to be an hour and a half early, I was actually a half hour too late. Oh me. I had paid for the whole night at the Ninja anyway, so I just changed my ticket and returned to my Ninja with my tail between my legs.

I had an unsucessful day. I tried to unscrub myself by going shopping, and I found this great store! I picked out all these clothes, and I saw they didn't have prices but I tried to buy them anyway. Nope, it was a wholesale store and I had just wasted an hour. I walked by all these places I had been that morning when I was lost, and realized how close I had been the whole time! If only I had turned the corner here, or seen that sign there! Frusterated and tired of walking around, I spent the rest of the night at my own hostel lounge talking to some travelers from new zealand and watching the news. CNN was reporting about Obama's potential puppy. I love dogs and all, but this was considered international news? In the morning, I caught the train with time to spare. My bento boxes were delicious!

SO I've been on the train all day, and I was afraid I would arrive at my hostel too late, miss check in time and be stranded in the snow. It is snowing pretty tough, and the ice is slippery and treacherous. I had sent an e-mail, though, and it turns out that I am the only guest here! The hostel is brand spankin' new. The place is really nice and so is the owner, and since I am the only person here, he was happy to wait up for me. It's a little strange being by myself completely, but I won't let it get to me. I am tough and resilient, and there are plenty of chill places to go and meet other people, or I can just stay by myself and do some writing, thinking, and self-love. Yep. I'm just going to be very very nice to myself. No more cold mornings lost in Tokyo and no more being mad about things that are out of my immediate control. I can do whatever I feel like now...hot springs, snowboarding, sleeping in, reading, chocolate factories, eating famous ramen...zero obligations or responsibilites...I feel good.